october, november, i want to remember

by ghosts and leviathans



these last few months have been crazy so this is just a very brief snapshot of the highs and lows that have been my life


released December 26, 2016



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ghosts and leviathans Ireland

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Track Name: another night
another night with you
another night of feeling blue
another night what do i do
to get myself on top of you

but you turn around and go to sleep
but when you want it you grab me
i go rigid in my sleep
nightmares washing over me

drive me somewhere in the distance
where everyone starts to miss us
drive into the black abyss
bloody knuckles, broken wrists

you turn around and smile at me
i close my eyes so i cant see
the feelings that you show to me
ive taught myself how not to breathe

i think were on our final legs
drop the crutches, hold our heads
up proud as we say goodbye
know it was fun, at least we tried

pick me up for one last drive
one last kiss with tongues you cry
run your hand right down my leg
the haze is moving from my head

i walk home, the porchlights on
you knew that i would drop the bomb
the only thing you didn't know
is how hard it would blow
Track Name: look at me
i walked towards you, my heart was alive
i held you so tight like I thought I would die
I cant describe the feeling you bring to my head
Like the haze has been lifted, an absence of dread

And my heart breaks to know your head is broken like mine
Maybe its why we can laugh until we cry
Falling on pavements in smoky daylights
We'll probably never be alright

But look at me
Look into my eyes and see
You make me so happy
You taught me how to breathe

Everytime we go out its a fucking disaster
Fall in the gravel punch holes in the plaster
But when we lie on the ground listening to old songs
Ive never felt quite like I was ever meant to belong

So much, you know that you stitch up the darkness
I wish that I could suck out all of the badness
Leave you with nothing but joy in your eyes
But I sense the fear and I wish I knew why

Look at me
Tell me why your lungs are caving in, please see
That ill always be here for you
Please dont leave, I beg, please

You taught me that you cannot save anyone
But I dont try to numb you from pain for my fun
Your melodies soar the grime of my soul
You saved me from hell so can I please stitch up the holes

I love you, stay with me
We can do anything you want to
I would lie forever with you in a cold piano room
Track Name: more
some of those bones have still got meat on them
maggots crawling through the holes throughout them
take a bite i dare you boy ill pay you to take the plunge
rip the final chunks of flesh from what had once been something

more, more, more

rip my jumper off revealing secrets you had never guessed
you like it when im naked but i like it when youre well dressed
breathing softly next to me my favourite asthmatic wheezer
lay my head on you till I sick from guilt, a violet fever

ill decide if i want you at all when your heart begins to bleed
grab me as the tears roll from your eyes and you are heaving
im a pretty mess wrapped up in ugly knitted sweaters
im dark and twisted thats what you told me
you didnt know but thats the real me
now youre so fucked youre in love with me
im so good at using and youre barely breathing
Track Name: boys
I think ive had enough of boys / they weave their way into my head, but leave the seams undone / they scrape the tissue from my skull, they kiss me but its no fun / and everytime I start to feel, a sprightly joy across my heart / I put my foot into my mouth and TEAR THE FUCKING THING APART

Brief bursts of joy only serve to make the pain feel even worse / I cant tell if Im actually going crazy or if Im actually going to burst

Maybe I am just a cry, crybaby / Everything just gets to me / When I dont get any attention / When they just dont understand me

And they are such hypocrites too / Can't decide if they love me / You cant be upset by something, then laugh at it loudly

They puncture skin on my neck, not with their teeth, but with their twisted tongues / These empty promises shake me / Im crawling through the dirt

And I am the worst of all / I leave them hanging by a thread / Too scared to bring them closer, when I do the loss I dread
Track Name: i made it out alive (but what for)
this isnt some feeling that i am quite used, the bitter fear yes but the aching is quite new / it comes in waves, each bigger than the last / i lay in a haze praying to god it will pass

I was having the time of my life / spinning round, kissing boys running through the night / but now i've been shaken / my heart is now breaking / and i dont have the energy for the fight

cause I've tread this road before / AND I MADE IT OUT ALIVE BUT WHAT FOR / i put it on silent cos i wanted to die / now he's come back and he's twice the force / i thought i was so content / laughing until tears streamed down my face / driving through the night, feeling quite alright, what a joke

did i just get the demo for happiness / once the trial expires you'll have to pay or beg / all of your friends start to leave, new ones dissapear, alone like you've never felt /

and you have one or two, but they come and go / like apparitions passing through concrete walls / and i'm tired of trying, im so sick of lying / i just want to sit down and cry


sit with me under the stars / im not looking for a date but for you to wrap your arm / around my sad broken frame, help me deal with the pain /

LAST NIGHT WAS THE WORST OF THEM ALL / i lay in bed hoping that the sky would fall / everything was closing in, past present future sin