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an attempt at resolution

by ghosts and leviathans

/
1.
resurgence 01:23
i saw a new photo of you and so the cycle starts up again i feel the sadness fill up my lungs i feel my happiness twist and bend i havent got time for this im having fucking outright fits I have far too much to do than to sit and think of you ill make time to be sad because im dumb and mad and i know youre happy without me cause we were never a we even though my sides are closing again i feel the blood ooze through my skin in a final attempt to be free let me be god i beg LET ME BE
2.
when she sent me the photo i felt my heart ache i felt so happy to see you like id had to wait as if we were long lost friends, the memory dissapearing we arent even acquaintances and thats what im fearing after the aching subsides, i lose my fucking mind it takes me back in time when love was closer by and now im bitter and sad cause i got to hold your hand and you will never see how low i've been i couldn't concentrate the days dissipate into a dirty grey i love you but i hate how you could be this way this is the cruelest fate yet all these years i'll wait i promise you'll ill wait and if another comes along and you come back id kick him to the kerb for you how fucking sad and yes i know its bad but i cannot stop myself i need to get some help i need your fucking help, oh
3.
strangers on a train, maybe not so strange i've seen you around before, through the eyes of another and everytime i see you, i want to tell you oh that i want your brother how i love him so but to open up to strangers is so hard for me to do so ill sit and stare through your eyes into the gloom i notice that your face is pretty neat, i have to say and even though your brothers better, you're ok i realise your bodys pretty nice, i have to say you can take your shirt off, look at me, or walk away strangers on a train, maybe not so strange ill see you in a week, to stare at you again
4.
a sunny skied villa where the sky is burning hanging from a window ledge its you im calling we talked for a while you smiled drunkenly at me hey isnt that the way its always been and i cant slow down now that you're around i won't slow down tonight its only in my dreams i see you my brain wont let me forget your face i beg that i will see you soon ill do what it takes just make it real not some dreamlike place running through corridors in slow motion no satanic ritual or lovers potion could fix my mind its so fucking broken im screaming your name im crying, choking and i might let go katie's begging me so but i feel so low you told me to come and find you in the morning its like youre just around every corner im running around i cant find you now my world feels empty because youre not in my vision you keep putting up walls and so far I keep hitting every single one If you won't fucking shoot me then give me the gun Ill keep looking all night long ive found connor but its so wrong ill keep looking till I die I cant wake up I have to try Ill keep searching, give me a clue what do i do to get beside you ill keep looking till i die i have to try
5.
find me 01:53
protruding through my skin my bones are caving in these moments of joy seem so far away get these sick thoughts out of my brain i have lost control of everything im fucking insane its all falling into ruins around my feet concrete falling you wont hear me scream But if you wont let me feel this pain Then dont take away my sleep the only thing that keeps me going when night by night i breathe the colours come alive inside my aching mind the light is far too bright, it's blinding, come and find me i screamed your name all night, come and find me

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released November 4, 2016

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